Teeth – Nothing like the chill of cold beer on the raw nerve of a newly chipped tooth. Sometimes, however, it might seem worth it. Use your molars – they’re stronger and not as noticeable when missing.
Interior of a Car Door – The inner works of your car door’s latching mechanism has just the right size catch to snuggly fit the neck of a beer bottle and pry off its cap. However, you could be charged with having an “open container” of alcohol in the car and jailed for up to sixth months.
Saber – Sure, it’s a bit showy but whacking off the top of your brew with a large blade will make you a hit at parties and beheadings. Known as “sabrage,” the technique was perfected by Napoleon’s officers and is usually used on sparkling wine, though the champagne of beers will suffice.
Airliner – There’s an urban legend that commercial carriers do not pressurize the cargo hold of their jets. This is bad news if you’re a stowaway but could theoretically pop open a bottle of brew. A well-timed trip to the baggage claim and this Buds for you.
Keys – Though you’re not prepared enough to have a bottle opener on your keychain, you probably have keys. Sequentially pry the bevels around the circumference of the cap and be sure to use your least necessary key – like the one to your ex’s pad. Yeah, it’s kinda sad you still have it. Better have another beer.